ive been thinking and honest to god: i think i would actually join a girl gang if the offer came. like a legitimate, hierarchical, “let’s carry knives under our skirts and beat up men” gang. fuck college
bringing back the sukeban girl gangs from the 70’s that wore long skirts against teen sexualization and fucked things up for the patriarchy
and this was no “5 girls in a small town” who made the news—this was yakuza level shit. 20,000 girls getting into gang fights and shoplifting and getting pissed off that only men were allowed to be rough and violent and angry
and y’all wanna know the funniest part? immediately after this trend blew up, the Men decided to sexualize the hell out of these girls. this included movie adaptations and pornos where the skirts were made shorter and the tits were bigger cause apparently they had found their new fetish
but here’s how they actually looked, and it’s actually pretty badass:
1. Humans say ‘ow’, even if they haven’t actually been hurt. It’s just a thing they say when they think they might have been hurt, but aren’t sure yet.
2. Humans collect shiny things and decorate their bodies and nests with them. The shinier the better, although each individual has a unique taste for style and colouring
3. Humans are not an aquatic or even amphibious species, but they flock to bodies of water simply to play in it. They can’t even hold their breath all that long; they just love to splash!
4. When night falls and the sky goes dark, humans become drowsy and begin to cocoon themselves in soft, fluffy bedding.
5. Some humans spend time in each other’s nests! Just for fun! It’s not their nest; they’re just visiting each other.
6. Some humans use pigments and dyes to make their bodies flashy and colourful! They even attach shiny dangly bits to their cartalidgous membranes!
7. Humans are very clever, and sometimes adopt creatures from other species into their family units. They don’t seem to notice the obvious differences, and often raise them alongside their own young!
8. If a human sees another creature in distress, they can commonly be observed trying to help! Even at their own risk, most humans are deeply compassionate creatures!
9. If a human hears a particularity catchy sound or tune, it will often mimic it, even to the point of annoying themselves!
10. Sneezes are entirely involuntary, and completely adorable. Especially when the human in question becomes frustrated
11. Humans love treats!!! Some more than others. Many humans will save these treats specifically for a later date when they are in need of comfort or reassurance. IE, pickles, pop tarts, Popsicles, etc
12. They’re learning to travel in space!!! They can’t get very far, but they’re trying!!! So far, they’ve made it to the end of their yard, and have found rocks
this sounds like it was written by a really enthusiastic alien humanologist
i’m cRYING
spock, 10 years old, on his school science project
